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80 of the funniest stories ever written, selected and introduced by Paul Merton. From Anton Chekhov to Ali Smith, from P.G. Wodehouse to Nora Ephron, the greatest writers are those who know how to laugh. Here, award-winning comedian and broadcaster Paul Merton brings together his favourite funny stories of all time. Whether it's the silly, surreal, slap-stick or satirical that makes you smile, there's a story here to tickle every funny bone. From prize-winners and literary giants, to stand-up comedians and the rising stars of funny literature, this brilliant anthology is guaranteed to cheer your day. ISBN 9781838939021 -
A hilarious diary of married life with the sensible, no-nonsense man of all our dreams: Jurgen Klopp, from critically-acclaimed comedian and Twitter sensation Laura Lexx. Inspired by the viral tweet: 'If I ever met Jurgen Klopp I'd say "omg if we have a baby we should call it Klipp" just so he'd raise an eyebrow at me and tell me I'm a moron and I'd be so naked by the time he'd finished doing that...' In these uncertain times we all need a coping mechanism. And Laura Lexx has found the obvious one - imagining life married to the sensible, no-nonsense man of our dreams, Jurgen Klopp. She thinks maybe he has something to do with football? More importantly, he definitely knows how to efficiently stack a dishwasher and would tell you honestly if you were being unreasonable about a colleague. From job interviews to furniture shopping in IKEA to making a birthday cake for their daughter, Klipp, Klopp Actually is a hilarious, warm and deeply silly diary of life with everyone's favourite baseball-cap-wearing, bespectacled German football manager. 'I shiver, my skin breaking out into tiny goosebumps. "Are you cold?" He whispers, his lips brushing my ear, making the fine hairs ripple. "A little." I grin, pressing against his thigh. He runs a hand down the curve of my spine... "You should put a jumper on." 'I'd LOVE to read a whole book of Laura's funny, clever, sweet imagination... it made me laugh a huge amount!' Marian Keyes. ISBN 9781529348217 -
'Ah! This is the dream!' says Julian one morning. 'With good old British common sense and community spirit like this, there's no reason that we couldn't exist on the island like this for the rest of our days!'What could possibly go wrong . . .?Anne has gathered Julian, Dick, George and, of course, Timmy, together for a last nostalgic jaunt in the countryside together before grown-up responsibilities take the four cousins off in different directions. It's only natural that they find their way onto Kirrin Island for a look around, as this might be the last time they're here together as a group. They are planning just to spend the night there and come home the next day, perhaps with a little exploring in the dungeon for old time's sake. But that night they hear the country has gone into lockdown. They are not allowed to leave. With their usual resourcefulness, they are determined to make the best of it, and remain cheerful and healthy. As Anne keeps saying: They're lucky, really, to have all this countryside and fresh air at their disposal! *NOT FOR CHILDREN* ISBN 9781529412086 -
Two men meet for a pint in a Dublin pub. They chew the fat, set the world to rights, take the piss... They talk about their wives, their kids, their kids' pets, their football teams and - this being Ireland in 2011-12 -about the euro, the crash, the presidential election, the Queen's visit. But these men are not parochial or small-minded; one of them knows where to find the missing Colonel Gaddafi (he's working as a cleaner at Dublin Airport); they worry about Greek debt, the IMF and the bondholders ( whatever they might be); in their fashion, they mourn the deaths of Whitney Houston, Donna Summer, Davy Jones and Robin Gibb; and they ask each other the really important questions like 'Would you ever let yourself be digitally enhanced?'Inspired by a year's worth of news, Two Pints distils the essence of Roddy Doyle's comic genius. This book shares the concision of a collection of poems, and the timing of a virtuoso comedian. ISBN 9780224097819 -
The Madman's Library is a unique, beautifully illustrated journey through the entire history of literature, delving into its darkest territories to hunt down the very strangest books ever written, and uncover the fascinating stories behind their creation. This is a madman's library of eccentric and extraordinary volumes from around the world, many of which have been completely forgotten. Books written in blood and books that kill, books of the insane and books that hoaxed the globe, books invisible to the naked eye and books so long they could destroy the Universe, books worn into battle, books of code and cypher whose secrets remain undiscovered... and a few others that are just plain weird. From the 605-page Qur'an written in the blood of Saddam Hussein, through the gorgeously decorated 15th-century lawsuit filed by the Devil against Jesus, to the lost art of binding books with human skin, every strand of strangeness imaginable (and many inconceivable) has been unearthed and bound together for a unique and richly illustrated collection ideal for every book-lover. 'An utterly joyous journey into the deepest eccentricities of the human mind... The most cheering, fascinating book I've read for ages.' Guardian. ISBN 9781471166914 -
Do you feel like you've solved enough traditional Sudoku, crosswords and logic problems to last a lifetime? Thinh Lai's Puzzle Universe is for everyone who loves puzzles and wants something fresh! Vietnamese puzzle master Lai Van Duc Thinh has created a series of original puzzle types sure to test the skills of even the most experienced puzzle-solver. Creatively stimulating new puzzles include Bar Code, Elbow Room, Boxing Match, Borderlands and more, each of which come with full instructions on how to solve them, as well as a variety of difficulty levels to aid in your progression. ISBN 9781787394063 -
Twentieth Anniversary Edition with Contributions from Joe Hill and Owen King Immensely helpful and illuminating to any aspiring writer, this special edition of Stephen King's critically lauded, million-copy bestseller shares the experiences, habits, and convictions that have shaped him and his work. Part memoir, part masterclass by one of the bestselling authors of all time, this superb volume is a revealing and practical view of the writer's craft, comprising the basic tools of the trade every writer must have. King's advice is grounded in his vivid memories from childhood through his emergence as a writer, from his struggling early career to his widely reported, near-fatal accident in 1999 - and how the inextricable link between writing and living spurred his recovery. Brilliantly structured, friendly and inspiring, On Writing will empower and entertain everyone who reads it - fans, writers, and anyone who loves a great story well told. ISBN 9781444723250 -
Keith Barry is the world's leading TV hypnotist, mentalist and brain hacker. With skills that have been showcased on over 40 international television shows, he has mastered the unique ability to hack into people's minds and rewire their subconscious. In this ground-breaking book, Keith reveals a variety of techniques that will help you to cultivate a champion mindset and develop mental toughness subconsciously. These are the very techniques he uses himself every day to achieve the things he wants. If you feel you are stuck in any sort of a rut or need help in life - whether that's in your career, your finances, your personal life, your professional life or anything else - this book will help you to move forward. When you master these methods, you too can programme your mind to have all the success you desire! ISBN 9780717191925 -
Reconnect with the seasons in Britain and Ireland with this month-by-month guide to the world around us - including tide tables, sunrises and moon phases; garden feasts, wildlife and folklore; seasonal recipes, snacks and more. The Almanac: A Seasonal Guide to 2024 gives you the tools and inspiration you need to celebrate, mark and appreciate each month of the year in your own particular way. Divided into the 12 months, a set of tables each month gives it the feel and weight of a traditional almanac, providing practical information that gives access to the outdoors and the seasons, perfect for expeditions, meteor-spotting nights and beach holidays. This year's edition focuses on the natural wonders of the garden, celebrating the beautiful flora and fauna at your doorstep. There are also features on each month's unique nature, plus a flower and a snack of the month. You will find yourself referring to The Almanac all year long, revisiting it again and again, and looking forward to the next edition as the year draws to a close. -
Many famed music producers are known for a particular sound that has its day and then ages out. Rick Rubin is known for something else: creating a space where artists of all different genres and traditions can home in on who they really are and what they really offer. He has made a practice of helping people transcend their self-imposed expectations in order to reconnect with a state of innocence from which the surprising becomes inevitable. Over the years, as he has thought deeply about where creativity comes from and where it doesn't, he has learned that being an artist isn't about your specific output; it's about your relationship to the world. Creativity has a place in everyone's life, and everyone can make that place larger. In fact, there are few more important responsibilities. The Creative Act is a beautiful and generous course of study that illuminates the path of the artist as a road we all can follow. It distils the wisdom gleaned from a lifetime's work into a luminous reading experience that puts the power to create moments - and lifetimes - of exhilaration and transcendence within closer reach for all of us. ISBN 9781838858636 -
This beautiful love-letter to children's books makes the perfect Christmas gift 'Beautiful and moving... It will kickstart a cascade of nostalgia for countless people' Marian Keyes. When Lucy Mangan was little, stories were everything. They opened up different worlds and cast new light on this one. She was whisked away to Narnia - and Kirrin Island - and Wonderland. She ventured down rabbit holes and womble burrows into midnight gardens and chocolate factories. No wonder she only left the house for her weekly trip to the library. In Bookworm, Lucy brings the favourite characters of our collective childhoods back to life and disinters a few forgotten treasures poignantly, wittily using them to tell her own story, that of a born, and unrepentant, bookworm. ISBN 9781784709228 -
Pithy put-downs, hard-boiled snarlings, words of love and regret... All the Best Lines presents 500 memorable movie quotes, embracing both one-liners ('My name is Pussy Galore') and slices of snappy dialogue from pictures as diverse as When Harry Met Sally and Pulp Fiction. Arranged under such timeless themes as Dreams, Friends, Libido and Memories, the quotes juxtapose films and stars from every era and every genre. Dotted throughout the text are feature capsules focusing on themes and stories in the movies from Goldwynisms to Mae West, plus a generous scattering of cinema anecdotes, making the book both a joy to browse and an authoritative reference. Lavishly illustrated with full-colour photographs, All the Best Lines will delight and entertain you in equal measure, reacquainting you with your favourite movies and introducing you to some forgotten classics. ISBN 9781789542653 -
Whats' wrong with this sentence? If that misplaced apostrophe flew right up your nose, this is the game for you. Start having fun while improving your grammar with this witty and informative card game for language lovers - based on the New York Times bestseller Dreyer's English. ISBN 9780593137857 -
Have the craic while creating over 6 million uniquely Irish insults to mock the eejits in your life without causing ructionsHas an awful shitehawk ever tried to get smart with ye? Is some useless yoke always wrecking your head? Ever wanted to eat the head off some miserable dosser? With The Irish Insult Generator under your oxter, you'll be effin' and blindin' with the best of them in no time! This gas flipbook lets you mix and match uniquely Irish insults. ISBN 9780717183098 -
'I was born with a warped sense of humour and when I was carried home from being born it was Coronation Day and so I was called Victoria but you are not supposed to know who wrote this anyway it is about time I unleashed my pent-up emotions in a bitter comment on the state of our society but it's not quite me so I think I shall write a heart-warming story with laughter behind the tears and tears behind the laughter which means hysterics to you Philistines...'From 'Pardon?' by Vicky Wood, Aged 14. Bury Grammar School (Girls) Magazine, 1967In her passport Victoria Wood listed her occupation as 'entertainer' - and in stand-up and sketches, songs and sitcom, musicals and dramas, she became the greatest entertainer of the age. Those things that might have held her back - her lonely childhood, her crippling shyness and above all the disadvantage of being a woman in a male-run industry - she turned to her advantage to make extraordinary comedy about ordinary people living ordinary lives in ordinary bodies. She wasn't fond of the term, but Victoria Wood truly was a national treasure - and her loss is still keenly felt. Victoria had plenty of stories still to tell when she died in 2016, and one of those was her own autobiography. 'I will do it one day,' she told the author and journalist Jasper Rees. 'It would be about my childhood, about my first few years in showbusiness, which were really interesting and would make a really nice story.' That sadly never came to pass, so Victoria's estate has asked Jasper Rees, who interviewed her more than anyone else, to tell her extraordinary story in full. He has been granted complete and exclusive access to Victoria's rich archive of personal and professional material, and has conducted over 200 interviews with her family, friends and colleagues - among them Victoria's children, her sisters, her ex-husband Geoffrey Durham, Julie Walters, Celia Imrie, Dawn French, Anne Reid, Imelda Staunton and many more. What emerges is a portrait of a true pioneer who spoke to her audience like no one before or since. ISBN 9781409184119 -
In twenty years behind the till in The Bookshop, Wigtown, Shaun Bythell has met pretty much every kind of customer there is - from the charming, erudite and deep-pocketed to the eccentric, flatulent and possibly larcenous... In Seven Kinds of People You Find in Bookshops he distils the essence of his experience into a warm, witty and quirky taxonomy of the book-loving public. So, step inside to meet the crafty Antiquarian, the shy and retiring Erotica Browser and gormless yet strangely likeable shop assistant Student Hugo - along with much loved bookseller favourites like the passionate Sci-Fi Fan, the voracious Railway Collector and the ever-elusive Perfect Customer. ISBN 9781788166584 -
FAKE NEWS AND COMMENT FROM IRELAND'S NUMBER ONE TRUSTED SOURCE @MALLOWNEWSLocal and national news, sports, entertainment, highlights from Ireland's literary scene, parish notes, obituaries and more!-No vaccine found for second wave of coalition government -Dublin man happy he's solved health crisis by clapping-St Anthony arrested after gardai recover EURO200,000 worth of stolen goods-Five ways to turn your uncommunicative, GAA-loving husband into an uncommunicative, GAA-loving CONNELL-Rogue Siege of Ennis maims four-Man about to serenade apartment block with 'Galway Girl' taken out by sniper-Irish government agrees Mrs Brown's Boys sufficient reparations for occupation-Exclusive extracts from literary sensations Jesus Christ What a Complete Gobnait and Ordinary Shams. ISBN 9781529341454 -
First published in 1977, this cult classic has been reissued for a new generation of ghost-hunters. This book is for anyone who has shivered at shadowy figures in the dark, heard strange sounds in the night or felt the presence of a mysterious `something' from the unknown. Ghost stories are as old as recorded history and exist all over the world; described in this book are haunting spirits, screaming skulls, phantom ships, demon dogs, white ladies, gallows ghosts and many more. Great for Ages 7-12. ISBN 9781474976688
